#Simon barney archive#

#Simon barney archive#

About a year ago I decided to give in to it, and the last six months conscientiously.Ĭheck out our monologue archive below for more monologues. I started getting the urge about five years ago. So why after twenty-three years do I write my mother’s address on the back of a check, buy a bottle of Scotch with two glasses and pray to God I never get caught? Not what you would call an exciting, vivacious woman, but one who is kind, considerate, devoted and that I happen to love. I’ve got three kids I’m very proud of, a house I’ve worked very hard for and a wife who is not extraordinary, Life has not only been very kind to me, it goes out of it’s way to ignore me… I’ve never had a car accident, never had a fistfight, never had a broken bone, never had a temperature over a hundred and two… I don’t smoke, I don’t gamble, and you’ve had more to drink this afternoon than I’ve had in my whole life. It cost me seven dollars and I threw up all night. Year-old woman who greeted me lying naked on a brass bed reading the newspaper. When I was eighteen my brother took me to an apartment in Newark, New Jersey, where I consorted with a forty-four. I got married to my high school sweetheart-and when have you heard that expression last-at the age of twenty-four, having gone steady with her since I was sixteen.Īnd how many experiences with other women do you think I’ve had prior to getting married?…One! I had one shot at it. I’m sure it will come as no great shock to you, but you are the first “attempted” extramarital affair for me in twenty-three years of marriage.

If I get nothing else from you today, it’s going to be your undivided goddamned attention. Just sit there and shut up until I tell you you can go. Don’t talk, don’t cough, don’t even breath. Monologues are presented on MightyActor for educational purposes only. All monologues are property and copyright of their owners.